нахуй

I never know what to write about. Funny that I wrote a book, then. These types of things always give me flashbacks to LiveJournal. I hope to all that is unholy that my LJ is not archived somewhere waiting to be discovered. Unfortunately, I know that it is. Alongside my MySpace and 1996-era HTML website with flashing GIFs and embarrassing teenage thoughts. Please don’t go looking for all of that. I have erased that self from my mind, changed my name, and killed that person. Necromancy is dangerous.

I am working on the site and the book this weekend. I say ‘weekend’ but really I mean one short day in a sea of work. Round and round I go, six days a week. All in the name of success- or maybe just survival. We are heading into peak season in my profession and the mind-numbing circus ride is just shifting into overdrive. More and more I’m feeling chained to the spinning wheel. I’m applying for some big moves that would free me from the too-worn track, so we will see what happens. Ever the pessimist, I have already convinced myself that these things are unachievable for me. But as with everything, I try anyway.

I wrote a new poem in German last night, in the dead silence when sleep wouldn’t come:

Question

Der Hai hat noch die Katze gefragt
Warum magst du das Wasser nicht?
Und die Katze hat es ihm gesagt
Weil Wasser hasst das Licht

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