It is official: I’m moving to Germany. I’m working out the details, and most are still up in the air, but by the end of the summer I will be there. I may or may not have a job lined up by then. Of course I would prefer to move to another country with employment in the bag, but if not I will absolutely just get on a plane with whatever fits in a suitcase and figure it the fuck out.
Most people find this prospect to be insanity. One, moving to another country at all, and two, doing it without much of a plan other than ‘figure it out.’ It is the type of thing I’ve done before- moving across the states with no plan- and it worked out for better or worse. I have started over from scratch a few times by now. I have ended up homeless. I have lived off one can of beans for three days because it cost seventy cents. I have lived in squats with no heat when the temperature was -30F. Some might call these experiences evidence of failure, and maybe they were. But the point is, I did the thing. I wanted to do something and go somewhere, so I did. Times were great, and times were rough. The rough times passed and good times came back. The rough ones are never far away. But I am not sitting in the place I was before all that, wondering what my life would have been and hating what it has become.
In the end, the ‘worst thing’ is being afraid to go and do. The worst thing is not failing, or ending up on hard times, or even dying. Fear is the worst thing. So, go and do. Fail spectacularly. Learn what hunger and loss really are. Who knows where I’ll be this time next year. Ich habe keine Ahnung. Doch ich bin aufgeregt, es herauszufinden!