Off and On Relationships With Myself

I’ve been reminded that I have neglected this weird little blog. I’d like to say it was for good reason, but the reality was I just wanted to disappear for a while. I do that from time to time- drop off social media and out of social circles. It’s good for the soul.

I was busy, however, working on the move to Germany. Which I’m happy to report has gone swimmingly. I made it! In some ways, it hasn’t hit me yet completely. But every day I have a moment where I realize- holy shit, I’m in Germany and I actually pursued a dream like a stubborn asshole and made it happen. There were a shit ton of roadblocks- Covid being the largest- and it certainly felt like a lost cause for months at a time. I gave up more than once. I made other plans. I turned down other opportunities in favor of pursuing the move to Germany, then regretted it, then redirected myself again, and again, and again. Honestly, I was a hot mess for about six months. I’m not usually an indecisive person, but trying to figure out how to move to a country that is currently not letting people from your country in rightfully causes some doubts.

For a while I lived in my truck, while working my regular job, because I was so goddamn determined to get the universe moving. I really like living in my truck, incidently, so that will be an on and off again feature of living in Germany, too. Most people are completely confused by the idea- but I love living low to the ground. Learning to live comfortably in a vehicle is a whole new universe, but I live for that kind of challenge and off the beaten path lifestyle. The Motherfucker is pretty well set up and modified for comfortable living, and is currently on a boat headed for my new home. Once a dirty street kid, always a dirty street kid. It never leaves you.

Every day I learn something new here, and every day I made a dumb mistake that is humbling and hilarious. And I will continue to do both, invariably, forever.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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